Feeling invisible

Feeling invisible can be a very lonely and isolating experience. Most women at some point talk of feeling this way. It is usually coupled with a loss of identity and it’s easily fallen into. Sometimes it’s hard to feel ourselves.  We are too busy being someone’s mum, someone’s wife, someone’s …well you can fill in the rest, it can go on a bit, right?

So do you ever feel invisible?

It’s a good idea to ask yourself what has triggered this feeling. Are you being ignored? Excluded? Perhaps your opinions are being dismissed or you are simply not being heard in the first place.

Time to take action

The worst thing about feeling invisible is that it feels out of your control. A sense of doom, that there is nothing that you can do about it. But as always we have choices and here are 5 actions you can take to help you on your way to becoming visible again

1. Take responsibility

Like all your feelings, YOU can take full control of them and with a change in mind-set you can change their perspective on them. So take responsibility and don’t blame anyone else for how you are feeling. Being back in control can boost you immediately.

2. Question any other feelings you may be having

If you are feeling angry, resentful, anxious or unhappy with a situation, person or set of circumstances you can be more vulnerable to this feeling of being invisible. You may be screaming inside about something that needs to come out. Perhaps that is why you are figuratively not being heard or seen?

3. Look at your own behaviour

Have a think about how you may have been behaving lately. Once you’ve taken responsibility for your feelings this will become easier. Has your general behaviour changed? Are you coming across to those nearest and dearest to you in a more challenging way? What I mean here is, people often retreat from you if they feel threatened or disrupted in some way or simply don’t know how to approach you about something. If, for example, people aren’t your usual approachable self, they may choose to leave you alone, give you some space…your interpretation in turn is that they are not interested in you.

4. What kind of ‘chat’ have you been participating in recently

I’m afraid, sometimes, we are all guilty of having a bit of a moan, complaining, blaming, whining or feeling victimised. It’s not unusual for us not to be realising that this is what we are actually doing until we pick ourselves up on it. Just check in with yourself and some of the conversations you’ve been having lately. These types of conversations can be very negative and draining for others around you and can make people retreat, especially if this is ‘not like you’.

5. Tell people how you feel

First up, need to say here that I am NOT suggesting that you fly into a rage or burst into tears here and release how you are feeling like a massive waterfall of emotion on those you feel invisible with. This will not be a good thing to do! Pick the right moment, in a calm and considered way, just say how you feel and ask them if everything is OK. You may uncover some negative feeling towards you. Boom, this is actually great as at least you will know about it and can get into a discussion, find a solution and move on. Or it may be that they hadn’t realised you felt that way and can reassure you and change their behaviour too. You don’t know unless you ask.

Feeling invisible is not nice. You don’t deserve it. You deserve to be visible.

I see you, Gorgeous!